treat yourself

work has been crazy busy with, no joke, four major projects launching in march and april which means tons of pre-work between now and then. (i have a human due to arrive in april. no pressure.) that is on top of my normal day-to-day work of managing media requests, pitching stories and opportunities my boss and others come up with that i need to pursue. let's not mention the two non-profit boards i'm serving on that have a bit of maintenance. on one hand, i'm glad for the responsibilities. i'd rather be busy than bored. needed than taking up an office. on the other, some days i need a little...reward. for what? doing my JOB? i know...i know...i rationalize with myself all the time.

why do we think we deserve a treat? a reward? a little something to distract us or take the edge off. a drink out with a friend. dinner out with my husband. maybe a pedicure. go shopping for a new little something. but those treats add up. a dinner out with drinks can near $100. and then wishing you had that $100 later is stressful. is a treat really ever stress free? am i a total weirdo for thinking this way?

and then there are "treats" and the things you can justify as "needs." i can't paint my toes as well as the little asian ladies. and i NEED my toes to look good to wear with work shoes. it's PROFESSIONAL to have well kept hands and feet. and a $30 pedicure at some strip mall is a better value than a $50 at a spa. so i'm actually SAVING money, right?

a $4 latte is mostly milk. dairy. calcium that is healthy for me. GOOD for the baby. and i can get decaf. i can't get decaf coffee at work. and they make me happy. so $4 a few times a week to be happy and healthy is good, right? i'll throw in a slice lemon pound cake for good measure.

see what i mean. you do all these things you've justified as needed. and add "treats" on top of that. it's a bad cycle. especially financially.

i don't know where i'm going with this. mainly that i'm paranoid. really worried about money. i have everything i need and can get anything i want. even deal with unexpected house improvements or car maintenance....within reason. do i know how we're going to pay for day care and health insurance for the baby. i don't. i mean we will. but take THAT money out of the balance i'm already stressing about. and i stress more. it will all be fine.

so i guess the way lately (without alcohol) i've been coping with stress is treating myself with food. not like "YES! a gallon of ice cream all for me!" but selecting something thoughtfully to prepare. not an average weeknight meal, but something more special or unusual. something a bit more time consuming. something that tells the person i'm making it for (me, and hubs i guess) that i care. ingredients that are simple but wonderful.

this friday, for instance, i made a delicious homemade tomato sauce and pasta. not rocket science or life changing but really, really delicious. the kind of sauce where you see the hunks of tomatoes and the fresh herbs. no unpronounceable ingredients. no sugar. (WHY do all canned sauces taste like candy!?) simple, cheap ingredients. this recipe called for some arugula, almost like a spicy spinach, and an ingredient i never buy. you wilt it in with the pasta and sauce at the end and it made such a notable, special 'kick.' at whole foods i browsed their little sample sized "try me" cheese bins and was able to get a small, affordable hunk of pecorino cheese with black truffle. sliced over the hot pasta....wow.

to that a great loaf of bread sliced, sprinkled with olive oil, chunky salt, pepper and oregano. pantry items that elevated a slice of white bread to deliciousness times ten.

and on these nights when i want to do something...more...i like to make dessert. we weren't a dessert every night house growing up so i've always thought dessert to be something really special. i'd been eying this apple galette recipe at bonappetite.com for a while BECAUSE of its simplicity. butter, flour, water and you have crust. a bit of jelly, some apples covered in sugar and you're done! seriously, the only thing i had to buy was the apples. and yet this glorious looking pastry comes out of the oven. i planned to serve a slice warm with a dollop of ice cream (a new pregnancy freezer staple) but it never made it that far. hubs and i ate it off the sheet pan all night.

i'm not saying all this to say "i'm so badass"---NO. rather, i NEED to be distracted. i NEED to reward myself sometimes for what i consider a week of work well done. of dealing with life. i'm sure this summer i'll be back to rewarding myself with half a bottle of wine. when i can see my feet again, a new pair of shoes might be a treat. i'll keep getting pedicures. but the most affordable, and i'll even say the most rewarding "treat" i've been giving myself lately....and hopefully my husband enjoys the benefits to...is thinking about and enjoying a lovingly prepared dish. not caviar. noodles with sauce. not creme brulee (though i'm not opposed). apples in dough.

you should probably tell me...how do you treat yourself affordably? do you have someone that gives you a foot rub (jealous)....does taking a run alone sooth you? or does a big bowl of chips and queso make your day? i'm looking for ways to make myself feel special and rewarded....and preferable spending very little money.

thanks for reading my brainwaves. besos.