share your frustration

the office mis-quoter stikes again.
me: "i need a 'done' pile"
mq: "a dung pile?"
grr...

also, though it's only been one week since my front page article---i haven't had anything since then. i went through some old files from past media relations folks with these fabulous and diverse pitches....and i feel like a slacker. which this week i am for some reason. it's wednesday. i'm thinking about friday.

having a tough go? you should probably tell me why you are frustrated.

analyze yourself

standing in front of my open freezer. looking at a huge bag of ice. half a tube of sugar cookie dough. half a log of chorizo. several halves of bags of frozen fruit. scant amounts of chocolate chips. butterscotch chips. walnuts. a bag of coffee. green beans. corn. and deciding what i could make for dinner from these.


let me 'splain. no. let me sum up. i went through a cycle of buying all organic food. or as much as made sense. scaled way back to basics. the same five or six meals in cycles. then started planning my shopping and went once a week buying for the seven days. now i'm in this weird...scavenger mode. it's the only way i can describe it. it's like i refuse to go to the store unless there is no choice. no milk, bread or toilet paper---then i'll go. and it isn't the money. maybe i feel uninspired. maybe i reallyfreakinhate reasors produce selection and wal-mart's lack of an actual meat counter. but the results have been this forced "make-due" menu that kind of rules.


for instance, i made my first bechamel sauce (or mornay according to wikipedia) cause i needed something to go with half a bag of rigatoni and 1/3 pound of ground beef. it became some lovely bastardized hamburger helper. didn't go to the store again today so two frozen (thanks wal-mart!) barramundi fillets will either become fish cakes or beer battered for din sunday. i do have fresh broccoli. and frozen peas. mushy peas anyone?


i say all this to say, i didn't want to make bechamel or beer batterred fish. but i have the stuff. i save everything. freeze one chicken breast or save the last teaspoon of teriyaki or jam because it could become a glaze for that chicken breast. chopped up and served on greens that's a meal for two.


so i feel like i suck. and rule at the same time? what does this saving scraps of food mean? am i just responding to the poor economy subconsciously?


other things i hate, other than throwing out food: the glob of hard lotion that comes off in your hand if you haven't used it in a while. when people leave the pizza box open. people who repeat what you just said, incorrectly (me: "whew, it's a cold day." annoying co-worker, "you're bold and gay?"), using a towel any less that three times (WASTE!), toilet paper that comes under instead of over. when the magazine hits the news stand before my subscription comes (grrr).


lay down on the couch. you should probably tell me what weird tick you have. at the very least, to make me feel better.

EDIT:

note to housemates; this is also annoying:

give yourself a hug

i felt like i deserved my job today.

it isn't that i'm anything special. but this position was very sought after. there was a massive round of hiring in spring that i was overlooked for. those candidates were all dropped. then a second round just as i was laid off from the tv station. i got some amazing strings pulled from some amazing people and was considered this time. it took four rounds of interviews. and i got it. that means a lot to me.

some days aren't so good. i feel in over my head. it's a new industry with new issues and new lingo. but essentially i know how to do my job. it's making my skills (talents, i hope) work where i am now.

today i felt like i deserved being the one. after all those rounds and all those people. nothing special. but i was asked to sit in on several projects. my opinion was sought. i put in my two cents and was praised. i landed two media stories. i was worn out by 3pm. and now i'm about to watch a positive story on my employer on a local tv station. heart.

so i give myself a hug today. and i want to give one to you.

i hope you give yourself hugs. that you have days when you think "i'm a great mom" or "i'm a kick ass driver." maybe "someone should pay me for this amazing oatmeal i made." or maybe you feel like you did a good job at your...job. these are tough times. and i refuse to be worried. i want to celebrate small victories.

so, you should probably give yourself a hug. leave me a note and let me know why.