take backs

so i realized my last post probably sounded pretty self indulgent. and alcoholic :) i blame the post thanksgiving funk and the impending frenzy that is december.

sometimes i feel like i need a break, ya know? have you ever just turned off the tv, the car radio or whatever just to hear nothing? i don't do it often, but now and then i have to. i feel overloaded with information. sound. stimulation. my brain gets tired. i think and plan and deliberate and worry. a lot. so even when i'm home, in sweat pants, enjoying a five day weekend i still feel like i need to get away or get out and do nothing. i love my family. my husband. my little house. but all that love doesn't clean it. it doesn't make the cat hair go away, the laundry done. it doesn't buy groceries or cook meals. organize. straighten. i have to do those. on vacation days or not.

so...take a day off you say. yeah, i do that. but then i get ten times as frustrated when i wake up the next day to dishes piled even higher in the sink.

i need to look for new ways to relax. new simple pleasures. i, of course, enjoy cooking. but frankly, i'm full and i have dishpan hands from the never ending eating / dish washing cycle. i used to take great pleasure in inhaling a pizza and a bottle of wine while watching a girly movie on the couch. why removing the wine takes away from that experience....i can't say. maybe i do have a problem. then again, maybe i just need to identify those things that feel AS good. AS distracting. AS relaxing.

for those not pregnant people, think about how often you enjoy a drink. is it at dinner. after a long day of work. over a nice meal. out with friends. as young adult types we sort of forget how many activities, usually pleasurable, revolve around alcohol. and food.

today i plan to take a drive. window shop. maybe go to the book store. my head feels heavy. full of noise.

this entry didn't get much better, did it? i'll snap out of it.

besos.